Written on January 9, 2009

Today, I realized that I may have lost my biggest source of love—you – but it was replace by many others in the form of family, friends and acquaintances. I’m grateful that I was there for them in their times of need because now, they are all here for me.

Today, Mom Marivic told me how angry she is with you because of the pain and devastation you caused me. I have lost a lot of weight, I’ve become sick, I am no longer myself. The spark in my eyes and smile have long gone. Mom is angry because you just walked out without having to say a word, without even trying. You lost a lot when you left, when you cheated on me. First of all, you lost a love worth having. You lost me, the woman who would most probably love you the most. You lost a family who was very willing to accept you openly—and that is very rare. You lost the belief and faith in you of your family, friends and co-workers. Most importantly, you lost your good reputation and name. Believe it or not, Allan, many have seen the evidence and couldn’t believe you’re lying to their faces.

I know you’re just telling everyone that we broke up because of personality differences. While that is partly true, it’s also easier for you to accept than admitting there is someone in the sidelines who gave you the strength to walk away from a 6 year relationship without even saying there was a problem, without even trying to fix it. I believe you’re also in denial. You do not want to accept that you hurt me, the woman who loved and cared for you, who was preparing for a lifetime with you, by cheating on her. No matter how much you hide, Allan, the truth will always come out… especially if what you’re doing is wrong.