Written on December 16, 2008

I'm sitting at Starbucks in Petron waiting for Dino because we're suppose to sign the papers for the condo, relinquishing your rights to me. On my way here, I was breaking down because the very thought of you signing the papers is a sign that it's OVER. A sign you no longer have ties to me. When you texted me yesterday that you signed the papers, I cried. I wanted to tell you, "You're finally a free man and no longer have ties to me." It's so painful to admit that. I felt that you were gonna go out and celebrate with her. I felt you were so relieved.

I know I appear to be strong and moving on but you have no idea how devastated I am. I would just suddenly burst into tears, I cannot do things we used to do together. I can no longer look at the stars, the moon. Fireworks no longer bring me nostalgia but intense sadness.

You are my first love and my first hearache and it pains me knowing that I am your first love too yet are not going through the same thing as I am. You're very lucky to have someone who will distract you from the pain and I am all alone to deal with mine.