Where It All Began

Written on December 16, 2008

Dear Allan,

I don't know if you recognize this journal but this is your first present, birthday gift, to me. You gave me this along with the mixed CD on my 22nd birthday at the Shell Station in McKinley. The card reads "I think it's great that you write in a journal. It makes you put down all those jumbled thoughts in your head and in so doing, helps you reflect and grow as a person."

Well, in the 6 years we had together, I never had jumbled thoughts. My mind was at peace. It's only now that we have separated that I have jumbled thoughts. I often find myself composing letters to you in my head and finally, I have decided today to finally use this journal to write about the pain and the heartaches.

When we first got together, I made a scrapbook and asked you to keep it so you are reminded, when you're old, that there was once a girl who loved you so much.

Now that we have ended, I ask the same thing if I decide to give this to you. Keep this journal for yourself so that you know of the pain and suffering that the girl- now a woman- went through when she lost her first love. You were there in the beginning, Allan... I also want you to see how it ended... Until I began to heal..