Written on August 8, 2009

Dearest Allan,

It has been a month and a half since I wrote here and I know today this will be my last entry. Since my last entry, I have begun dating someone. Our relationship is slowly progressing and both of us know that we're heading in that direction. I really hope this is it for me. :) Truth be told, he seems to be exhibiting the qualities I'm looking for in a partner, the qualities I prayed for in my novena since January.

Today is the birthday of Jack Dylan, Jim's son and I knew there was a possibility I would see you today and so earlier this week, I decided that whether I see you or not today, this journal will find it's way to you.

Last night, I made this decision and I told the guy I'm dating that I'm finally letting go and closing the chapter, THAT chapter of my life with you in it. To me, it's over. How funny was it that about 30 minutes later, we bump into you at Rufo's! It's like God telling me that yes, I'm finally ready to see you without feeling any pain. I just found the situation so surreal. A year ago, if someone told me that we'd bump into each other at some totally random place at 3am and I'd be with someone else, I wouldn't have believed them. It really, really was strange sitting a few feet away from you, knowing that once upon a time, I believed in forever with you. In our 6 years together, who would have thought we'd end up this way? Hahahahahaha! I'm just laughing about it now. I still can't get over it. :)

Anyway, Allan, this is my goodbye letter. I just want to say thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the laughters, the tears, for teaching me to fight, for making me believe that forever is possible with me, forever is now a reality with me. Thank you for letting me discover myself, for making me believe in myself. Thank you for all the experiences you've shown and shared with me. Most of all, dear Allan, thank you for the love. Thank you for teaching me to love with my whole self, without holding back, completely and wholeheartedly. Thank you for loving me just the same. Thank you for letting me experience being loved with so much passion. I know now what I deserve. Thank you.

Despite the very painful ending, I still believe it was an amazing, wonderful relationship. And Allan, you're no longer the guy who cheated on me, the guy who broke my heart. You're still the guy I first fell in love with. The good now outweighs the bad. So yes, Allan. This means that we're cool. :) I wish you all the best, Allan, and I mean it with sincerity. Have a wonderful life. See you around!:)

Love,



Cat